Last night in class, during the opening meditation, Amanda Zapanta asked us to think about what we look for in a partner — whether we’re single or in a relationship.
She read / talked about how what we look for in a relationship is often something we’re not giving ourselves. Think about that.
We have the inherent capacity to be happy, healthy and whole. Looking for strength, nurturing, cheerleading, or security from our partner ignores our ability to adjust our mental state and our habits to provide those things for ourselves.
It reminded me of another teacher, talking about relationships (I’ll find the link later), who said that relationships must be based on JOY, not NEED. Anytime we’re looking outside ourselves for happiness, we’re setting up trouble.
It’s an interesting thing to think about. The idea of “you complete me” is outdated; we need to complete ourselves, and free ourselves to have relationships based on sharing joy.